England's Eyebrows X Reader
by pastadildos
Summary: It was a lazy Sunday in the streets of Boston and you decided to go to the corner store. On one of the shelves you felt your heart drop in your chest when you saw the world's most heavenly eyebrows in your life! Is this a start to a new love story! Rated for dropping the F-bomb twice and cause y'all need Jesus. [crackfic]


It was a beautiful day; the sun was shining bright against the sky. The orange and pink mixed brilliantly while the sun continued to hug the horizon. You had no plans and so made your way to the corner store.

The streets of Boston were usually overwhelming for you but today it was nice and easy. Not a lot of people were out and you failed to see why given how ethereal the weather was. You sighed. You really shouldn't be complaining-no people around just makes your life easier.

As you made your way to the small store filled with literally everything anyone would need, there was the most heavenly sent sight you've ever laid eyes on.

Through the clear windows a pair of bushy eyebrows sat on one of the shelves.

You had become short of breath all of a sudden and you suddenly wished it wasn't so hot. You shook your head. _No, I shouldn't be thinking these things!_ You opened the door, making sure to keep your cool.

You went straight for the eyebrows— they felt all too soft to be nothing but a novelty item. You set it on the desk for the cashier to check out. When you did, he gave you a strange look.

"Um, Miss/Sir, I don't mean to be rude but why did you put a pair of eyebrows in front of me?"

You tilted your head. "These were on your shelves, weren't they?"

He shook his head. "Not that I remember, now if you'll excuse me it looks like you're not buying anything so may I please tend to the next customer?"

You nodded slowly and took the eyebrows away. You had a dazed look in your eyes as you walked out of the store. _So then I guess I can keep these babies for free...Wait, what?! Holy Pringle in a shoebox, I need Jesus!_

You blushed a deep shade of red and brought your hands up to your face. You felt the eyebrows on your cheek and breathed them in. They smelt of vanilla and lemon balm tea.

"Why are you crying, my dear?" A British voice called out.

Your head shot up so quickly you thought you heard a crack in your neck. "Who said that?!" You yelled. Your eyes were as wide as the saucers; there was no one out here but you!

"It was me, love. Look down."

Your eyes traveled to the blonde eyebrows clutched in your hands. You spluttered, "Y-you mean?"

They squirmed a little, tickling your hand. "Yes, it was I, the eyebrows."

You dropped the eyebrows like a hot potato and backed up against a brick wall covered in graffiti. _What the everlasting fuck?!_ You were just about to calm your head down with the thought of being on drugs when you realized that you _don't ever do drugs and you wouldn't ever_.

"Why do you run away," the eyebrows asked, "is it because I am not human?"

You were scared to death now. "No! It's because you're blonde—why do you think?!" You yelled in sarcasm.

"Ah, I see." They spoke. "What if I _were_ human?"

You pondered a bit. What I they _were_ human? Why are you even thinking of such a ridiculous thing? You should be worrying about why the eyebrows are talking at all!

"It doesn't mean you're human right now!"

They scooted closer to you, stopping by your feet. "But I know a way to make it so…" They purred.

You suppressed a shudder at how seductive they sounded. They were a literal pair of eyebrows for heavens' sake!

You mumbled softly, "How so?"

"You just have to fall in love with me in my form at the moment. I'll be awakened partly because of that."

"What about the other part?"

"It comes from a kiss."

You looked at them in confusion. "In your human or eyebrow form?"

"Eyebrow."

_You could be dating a regular, human person right now. Why are you stooping to this level? You're not exactly the _hot_ type but that doesn't mean you should do this to yourself!_

The rational part of your mind was drained out however as the irrational part came into the picture.

_You felt those delicate beauties! Pursue them! They'll be hot as a human! I mean, they're already pretty hot already…_

Your lips felt dry and you willed yourself not to lick them. "I…I accept the challenge. I'll fall in love with you."

You picked them up and they snuggled into your hand. Your heart was beating hard against your chest and it pounded like drums in your ears. Your face was hot and pretty steaming red right now.

"I think you already did." They spoke against your hand. It sent vibrations up your arms and caused you to shudder slightly.

"I d-don't know what you're talking about!"

"Then kiss me."

You looked at the eyebrows with reluctance heavy in your face.

"Are you afraid to admit it?"

You shut your eyes gently and leaned into them. "No…" You whispered. You kissed the eyebrows softly. How you managed to fall in love with a pair of eyebrows you just met went beyond your mind. How you managed to even fall in love with a pair of fucking eyebrows at all went beyond your mind. But you did.

Slowly but surely you felt the hairs slowly turn into soft, moist lips. You opened your eyes and saw a short male with a mess of light blonde hair and emerald eyes.

He awkwardly laughed and rubbed the nape of his neck sheepishly. "Uh, nice to meet you?"

"Eyebrows?"

"Actually, my name is Arthur—Arthur Kirkland."

You inspected him from the tips of his black boots to his shaggy hair. Your eyes locked on the pair of bushy eyebrows latched onto his face.

"Um, hello?" He asked.

You came out of your trance and answered him. "I'm (Y/N)…"

"Oh, lovely name!"

You grinned at him in embarrassment. "Thank you…"

He leaned in close to you and whispered, "I know this is sudden, but I've waited a great deal of time put under a curse—A curse which would only be broken by someone who loved me, truly. Since you had turned me back into a human being, I believe it is you who I am destined to be with."

You went red again and you knew it. You ate up his words like candy and your knees felt like jelly. You wanted to believe that you loved him but if your heart was honest, it wasn't him who you loved.

It was the eyebrows you loved, the delicate blonde eyebrows. The way they felt on your hands was pure bliss, the way they felt against your dry lips had sent shock waves all around your body—even more so than when you had felt those eyebrows turn into human lips.

You moved your face away and stared straight into his eyes.

"I'm sorry to say this, but…"

You placed a chaste kiss on his lips.

"I truthfully love your eyebrows rather than you."

His eyes widened and he began choking on the air around him. You grabbed him by his collar and pulled his face closer to yours. You messily kissed his eyebrows, your knees buckled and you were about to fall when you felt the collar disappear.

You looked down shakily and the pair of eyebrows laid flat on the pavement. You felt hot all over and picked them up.

"(Y/N)…"

You brought them to your forehead. "Shh…"

You looked at them with loving eyes. You had never felt love like this ever before. You kissed them again, this time taking into mind how wonderful it felt.

You stayed like that for a long time and the latter didn't seem to find it bad or uncomfortable.

_I really need Jesus…_

And that was the beginning of your beautiful relationship with Arthur's eyebrows.

* * *

><p><strong>AN :**

**I hope y'all enjoyed this because I sure did B)**

**This was inspired by that one Tumblr post that was talking about how "England's Eyebrows X Reader" came up in the Google search bar for "England's Eyebrows".**

**WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO?! OTL**


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